Part One
‘I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. ‘ 1 Samuel 1:27
Over the next few weeks I will be taking you through my pregnancy with letters I’ve written to Thia (to be given to her when she grows up).
Sometimes, no matter how hard we pray and plead with God for something we need, it will seem like He doesn’t love us and is not responding. But the truth is that He is just asking us to wait.
'He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in their hearts, yet so that man can’t find out the work that God has done from the beginning even to the end. ' Ecclesiastes 3:11
Simple and straightforward, this is our record of how you came into our life as a miracle. Our little ray of hope, shining into our life just when we most needed a reason to believe, you are just awesome.
So as you may know by now, if we have already told you, you had a little brother who went up to be with God a year before you were born. We named him Moses and we really did love him a lot, but God loved him more. This will be a story for another day, today is a day about you.
So here is how you came into our lives, completely orchestrated by God alone:
God sent a message through our family and friends
Vinu: You know your athai (paternal aunt) Vinu right? She told us in the mid of 2017, after we lost Moses, that she saw your paati (grandmother) holding a little baby in her arms. Yes, she did. Can you believe that? It was decided way back then that you would be coming to our lives, that’s how awesome our God is.
Vidya Sam: Quite the surprise, but yet not surprising! Two days after your paati in heaven passed away, your amma’s friend Vidya had a dream where she saw your amma pregnant. Now she did not tell me this immediately. But she did come to visit me the next day to offer her condolences for our loss.
Now why did God choose her to show this message?
A little history on her: She also lost her little boy/girl when she was three months pregnant like amma. Answer to why God chose her, probably because He felt that she was one of his own that genuinely prayed for our well-being and knew very well what we must be going through.
Initially, when I got pregnant with you, for the first 3 months, we decided that we would not be telling anyone. During this period, Vidya messaged me and asked me if I was pregnant, but I decided not to tell her yet. During the start of the fourth month of our pregnancy, our faith was put to test by God, and that is when we decided we should tell the people who we thought would genuinely pray for us. That is when we told Vidya and she came back to me a few weeks later, telling me about her dream and how God wanted her to pray for me.
Surekha: God chose her twice over to show that I was going to get you. In January 2018, again around the same time when paati passed away, Surekha had a dream where she saw your paati holding a chubby little baby girl. So amazing right? Our God is amazing that way!
Now she messaged amma immediately and asked if I was pregnant, but unfortunately that time I wasn’t, and I told her that and also that my amma passed away and wasn’t with us anymore. Neither of us could decipher the dream then.
When I turned 4 months pregnant, she messaged me again asking if I was pregnant and that she had a dream where she saw me pregnant. Now that was amazing, it was a reminder from God saying, “Hello, remember I told you she will be pregnant, and see, she is pregnant now. Have faith in me! Because through faith, everything is possible with Me!”.
God told your appa too
28th January 2018: Your amma and appa went to church on this day and during the worship session at church, your appa had a vision from God showing him climbing over a big big mountain and that He (God) is with us, saying, “He will help us climb and cross the huge mountain!”
That was God’s way of telling us that He is with us and will help us through all our struggles, one of which for us was getting pregnant again. Such an amazing way of reassuring us that at all times, He is with us and guiding us.
How we got the news
So, a couple of days went by and we were anxious for the day we could test and know whether God had answered our prayers this month, or if He wanted us to wait for the right time. This was around the time your appa was preparing for a very important exam called GATE, that would help him apply for a PhD. Well, the week after the 28th passed quickly with work and every day activities and before we knew it and it was Friday, the last day of the week.
On this Friday, I was in a not so good mood, because I had just got my periods again, which meant no baby. I spent the next few hours sleeping and crying and then ordering some really nice Andhra chicken and mutton curry. After eating, I slept for a few hours and woke up feeling much better. It looked like your amma got a false alarm, I wasn’t bleeding anymore. So anyways, I still did not think that I should take a test based on our previous month’s experiences, we felt that it was too early to test.
The next morning, your appa got up really early and left for his exam. I said bye to him and thought of going back to sleep but was really restless, I felt in my heart that I should take a test, even though I was so sure that it was going to be negative. So I called your appa and told him that I would be taking the test, and he said, “Ok, but don’t keep your hopes up and get upset when it is negative.” And that is what I did.
I very excitedly opened up a test and did as instructed on the box and kept the test on top of the washing machine and waited with my heart in my mouth. And there it was!!!! A very faint but a very much visible second line, I was literally in shock when I told your appa over the phone that yes, it is a positive. Here is a picture of the positive test:
Imagine his reaction, he was on the way to the exam hall for his exam and he just couldn’t believe it!
And that is how we got the news!!!
